One of the most important things I’ve learned here at RBI is to be open and willing to learn as well as change whatever is needed in order to grow in life. For indeed my desire is to live a life pleasing to the Lord. How do I accomplish this? I accomplish this by not only hearing the word of God but also studying it and applying it to my life. In Matthew 13 the parable of the four soils is discussed. This parable explains the variances of seeds taking root. The first seed lands on hard ground but satan comes in because it didn’t take root, the rocky ground is received with joy but the root is shallow and it wilts, the thorny ground is when the word is accepted but no crops is produced, and last is the good soil where the word is received and produces. My heart is the good soil and the seed is the word and when I hear the word and do what it says it produces good results. I must root out the hidden things in my heart to keep the soil good. I must not let offences come and distract me. I must not take the devil’s counsel in any situation, but stand on the word of God, take all my needs to him, tell him he is my source of supply and rejoice for having the victory.
Being a part of this ministry means I will be stretched. I may work in some areas of ministry that may make me somewhat uncomfortable, but it’s all for the glory of God for when I leave this place I will be well equipped for the nations.
This past Minister’s Conference was awesome. The Lord has really been showing me to lose control. I have always been such an in control person and I always try to control my circumstances the best I can, but the Lord showed me that I have to fully allow Him to be in control of my life and my circumstances. Minister’s Conference was really an eye opener. God also showed me that patience is key and that being in His perfect will is the most important thing and that I want His will over mine at all times. To be fully surrendered is to fully trust in Him and not try to do things myself or make things happen. To trust that His will and plan is the best for me, that each day I just have to wake up, praise Him, ask to be used by Him, deny myself and pick up my cross and follow Him wherever He leads is the best control I could ever have. It’s humbling to know that God is in total control over my life and that I don’t have to worry about anything. He has the best for me so why wouldn’t I just sit back, relax, and let Him pour out His blessing upon me! After all, it’s promised to me! I also felt God’s love through other individuals at Minister’s Conference like I’ve never felt before. The love of God was just so apparent through people that I couldn’t help but be joyful all the time. All I can say is that God is faithful and I love being put through the fire and getting refined so that my walk with the Lord shines to others and that they can see Jesus through me!
During the Ministers and Leaders Conference this year I don’t think I got to sit through a whole service except the first Sunday morning because of working in my department. I also had been sick the first part of the week, but I did get to be in a lot of the worship. God touched me during one of the services during worship when I just felt like He was showing me that I don’t have to be perfect to come to Him, but I can come to Him as my Father and He will do the work. I have really been dealing with over-perfectionism (like if I don’t do the job perfectly, it’s wrong) during internship and it feels like it’s been coming to the surface more than ever, so I know God is working on me in that area. Also, after MLC we had a Bible study and they were talking about how it sometimes feels like you don’t get to receive because you’re serving during meetings, and I was just really encouraged that I can know that God is pouring into me and doing a work in me as I’m serving/working in my department. I’ve also been learning over the past several weeks that hard work and difficult/uncomfortable situations is really just the fire of God burning stuff out of you. One recent example was with a roommate situation, I was really getting bothered about some things that I felt weren’t right that my roommate had done, but I felt like the Lord was telling me to go apologize to her for my attitude – and I’m thinking, she should apologize to me. But I finally obeyed and apologized to her and it released that thing in my heart that was bothering me and it helped me forgive her and I’m not upset about it anymore.
I also have a testimony that has panned out over the last few weeks – I was in a living situation that was getting really difficult location-wise and someone walked up to me and said they wanted to pay my first month’s rent wherever I was moving to, and I finally got to move to the location I’ve wanted to be in for a long time. Praise God!